West Texan Father's Advice

I was given this collection by an office collegue.  I generally agree with the list, but beg to differ with the second item - some skunks are quite amiable.

• Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
• Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.
• A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
• Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.
• Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.
• Forgive your enemies.  It messes with their heads.
• Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
• It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
• You cannot unsay a cruel word.
• Every path has a few puddles.
• When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
• The best sermons are lived, not preached.
• Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
• Don't judge folks by their relatives.
• Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
• Live a good, honorable life.  Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
• Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.
• Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
• If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is quit diggin'.
• Sometimes you get, sometimes you get got.
• The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror every mornin'.
• Always drink upstream from the herd.
• Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
• Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
• If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
• Live simply.  Love generously. Care deeply.  Speak kindly.  Leave the rest to God.

and my original contribution,

• Every now and then, help someone anonymously jes' for yourself.

My Favorite Season

Fall has always been my favorite time of year.  Even though it meant summer vacation was over, the coming of Fall brought football and Halloween, and those were fun for me to actively participate in during my younger years, and then to watch as my sons found their own delights in those activities.  Now, the Fall means thankfully less yard maintenance (this year it was more like heat-survival) and post-season baseball (GO RANGERS!).  But I still enjoy Halloween just for the fun of seeing kids out trick-or-treating, some too young to really understand why their parents dressed them in odd costumes and took them to perfect strangers' homes to get candy, and those probably too old to still be doing it, but taking advantage of the opportunity to have some good clean fun and just be a kid for a little while longer.

Sir Ryan of Abileneshire, Knight of the Kid's Table (see photo at right) will be out Halloween night in search of dragons to slay and assorted treats.  I have outfitted him with a shield bearing the company logo of my employer, and plan to take him to the homes of our competitors to demand they fork over the candy or suffer mightly blows from his plastic sword.

Dugout Dad: It's Not Just A Job - It's An Adventure

Somehow I got drafted into being Dugout Dad for Ryan's 5 & 6 year-olds baseball team this season (see photo of future HOF third baseman at right).  Here are a few tips from my experiences for those who are considering this role for the first time:

1.  Know where the bathroom is and the amount of time it takes for your average player to get there and back.
2.  Don't wear flip-flops in a dugout full of kids wearing cleats.
3.  To avoid getting impaled in their hinderparts by a two-inch splinter, advise players against sliding sideways on a wooden bench.
4.  Prohibit gum-chewing which leads to gum-spitting which always leads to gum-sticking to the bottom of your shoe.
5.  Keep chatter positive and to a minimum.  No one likes to hear chants from the dugout about the other team's pitcher's personal habits.
6.  Bats are not light sabers and should be kept in the bat rack until the Jedi/Batter is on deck.
7.  Batting helmets are not one-size-fits-all.  Be sure to reserve the Fat Head helmet for the kid who really needs it.
8.  There is crying in baseball.
9.  High fives should not be given to the player who trips the other team's baserunners.
10.  Catcher's equipment should fit properly so that the player wearing same doesn't look like a damaged Transformer when running out to take the field.